Justin Armao made a Bloodsucka Jones movie back in 2013. I haven’t seen it but if the reviews of the original are anything to go by, there might not be much difference between the two films. Now Bloodsucka Jones vs. The Creeping Death marks the sequel for this Blaxploitation horror and comedy movie and its release to Amazon prime means it has been unleashed to the masses.
Catching You Up on the Story of Bloodsucka Jones
The film begins with a young girl on roller skates oblivious to the encroaching danger. Zombies with glowing eyes swarm her and we get our first glimpse of Bloodsucka Jones. The scene cuts to a cartoon explanation of what happened in the previous film. The narrative explains the following:
David met Christine but found out Christine was a vampire. Christine’s brother Stewart is also a vampire and has a bunch of vampire friends and they all hang out together.
David got Tony to help him try and eradicate the vampires but couldn’t so he called Bloodsucka Jones instead. Jones has a protege, Vanessa, and they both helped David and Tony learn the ways of vampire hunting. Another vampire Heather bites David who is then killed by Tony. Following this Christine mows down Stewart in her car and the sequel begins in the hospital as Stewart and David sit at a table together, playing chess.
What Happens Next?
Soon enough we discover that Stewart is no longer a vampire. In the accident, he lost too much blood and is now just a normal person. In between, there are sexy nurses, nurses with accents, and sponge baths. Stewart decides he will gather the zombies to eradicate the vampires instead. He plots and positions himself in several ways enlisting the assistance of people along the way.
The storyline is so confusing that from the onset, I felt like I missed an important plot point the entire way through. Even after watching all of Bloodsucka Jones vs. The Creeping Death, reading a few reviews, going back, and listening to the prologue again, I’m still at a loss. I can only conclude either Mother of Movies’ funny bone has malfunctioned or that the narrative was so incohesive there wasn’t supposed to be a point.
Either way, I didn’t have as much fun with this horror-comedy as many other critics did. I also wasn’t a fan of all of the cinematography. For example, the frame is zoomed in on special effects plastic representing skin, being ripped off during random and oddly sequenced attacks by a group of undead. The rest of the movie was executed with finesse and a certain quirkiness that many will like. It’s bright, enthusiastic and makes good use of popular techniques from other films I like.
You’ll Like it if You Like This Kind of Thing
There are plenty of complimentary aesthetics within the run time of course, and not all of it was bad. However, Bloodsucka Jones vs. The Creeping Death was not my cup of tea. It felt more like a deconstructed sequence of random scenes than a complete film. Performances were great for such a large cast, but I didn’t warm to any of them. What did impress me was the scale of the production. There is no denying the effort that went into this totally bonkers movie. The set design and costuming showed masses of enthusiasm for the style they were going for. There was this funky lazer cardboard guy called Cheedo that kind of looked like The Predator if the Predator was made of cardboard.
There’s plenty of singular elements to enjoy if you like this kind of thing. If you’re looking for something to watch with people who love the ridiculous, then Bloodsucka Jones vs. The Creeping Death is available to watch right now.
I give Bloodsucka Jones vs. The Creeping Death
2 Cheedo likes icecream because he’s so chill out of 5
Bloodsucka Jones vs. The Creeping Death Trailer
- Bloodsucka Jones vs. The Creeping Death is available free on Amazon Prime (with a subscription) or Blu Ray on Amazon.
- Director and writer: Justin Armao.
- Bloodsucka Jones vs. The Creeping Death was made on an estimated budget of $40 000. The film was acquired as a screener for review purposes.
- Starring Preston Gant (Little Women L.A.), Jennifer Runyon (Ghostbusters, Charles in Charge), Justin Armao, Alan Maxson (Godzilla: King of the Monsters), Matt Kelly, Mindy Robinson (King of the Nerds), Nalini Krishan (Star Wars: Attack of the Clones), Maria Canapino, Jason Trost (The FP, Beats of Rage) Jessica Dercks, and Erin Holt.
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- Official Bloodsucka Jones website
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