Streaming online for free in most regions, The Russian Bride is not a good movie. It’s pretty terrible. But in the vein of ‘so bad, it’s good” The Russian Bride is a B-movie you should watch. The story settles into a rather mediocre preamble. It follows a Russian woman, Nina, and her drug-addicted and abusive husband. Trying to save herself and opt-in for a better life, she turns to the internet.

Hitting the dating sites Nina quickly finds an older, rich man willing to marry her as soon as possible. What could go wrong? Nina and her daughter take a flight to America where she quickly discovers he has an extremely large estate, help, and horses. Despite the tongueless man who lives in the barn, Karl seems nice enough. She settles into life by showing Karl just how much she likes his house before they kick up their heels and get hitched.

The thing that makes this film bonkers is both a mixture of the ill-thought-out toxic progression of old-man Karl and, performances all around. Characters are wafer-thin and everything is toned down with music that makes you think you’re watching a completely different film. Taking the formulaic safe route of many films before it, boys-rescues-girl for ulterior motives. Karl’s motives aren’t made clear until the final act. However, once they are, the props inserted earlier are given their best opportunities to shine. Not only that, but they are completely bonkers and involve a lot of people.

A Cross Between Crank and Rec 3

Turns out Karl is a coke-head. Randomly, this is brought to the forefront early on so as not to alert the audience to its hidden agenda. If you’ve seen the movie Crank and enjoyed all it had to offer then what I can say about Russian Bride is good news. The final act is akin to Crank mashed up with Rec 3: Genesis and it’s worth every second of putting up with the tepid horror and thriller movie before it.

From the film’s stodgy beginning emerges an epic showdown. It involves Nina and everyone else in the plot to kill Nina’s daughter. It’s violent, it’s hectic, and had me in fits of laughter given the whole hour of the emotional score, quiet scenes, and polite requests prior from our ‘heroine’ to go home.

The Russian Bride Rises Like A Phoenix

The ending of The Russian Bride makes it a B-movie you need to watch just for how vigorously it kicks into gear. In addition, there is some hilarious dialogue to go with it. Between the hallmark background music and the tender moments, the tonal change is worth it. If this is a movie you choose to put on while ironing and doing housework, what happens at the end will have you sitting down with your eyes glued to the screen.

For lovers of B-movies

I give The Russian Bride

2 stars just for the awesome ending out of 5

Mother of Movies score

Movies with unexpected violence: Random Acts of Violence / Why Don’t You Just Die / Under the Lather
Stars: Corbin Bernsen, Oksana Orlan, and, Kristina Pimenova.
Director and writer: Michael S. Ojeda