The Donor Party, There’s Lots of Emojis and A Guy That Looks Like Geoff Goldblum
Imagine a world where Malin Åkerman needs help getting laid and you are already a quarter of the way to getting on board with this stinker. The Donor Party takes a great cast and considerably naff narrative and makes a movie out of it. With only one person responsible for writing and directing, Thom Harp wants you to get in the zone of this scenario. Jaclyn (Malin) runs into her ex-husband carrying an infant and standing with the woman he had an affair with. Adding insult to injury, she is pregnant with her next baby. The next reasonable step for her would be to then become so obsessed that she is wasting her time in the dating pool that getting pregnant is her only option. Before it’s too late.
Jaclyn and her friends hatch a plan. Not content with thinking through such a life-changing situation, they decide Molly’s husbands’ birthday party is the perfect place to collect the specimens needed for an endeavor of this kind. With the event scheduled for that evening, Molly (Erinn Hayes) and Amandine (Bria Henderson) jot down a few notes about the qualities Jaclyn would like in her baby daddy. Then they invite the potential sperm donors to what is now The Donor Party. But wait there’s more.
Life Finds A Way
A “discreet” ploy of this magnitude wouldn’t be complete without the assurance that the oblivious procreators will go through with getting a leg up in the first place. Molly and Amandine throw together some brilliant lies. They want to ensure the deed is done. Of course, all of the men show up eager as beavers for the beaver. In a room full of all of Molly’s husband’s friends, and their collective acquaintances, Jaclyn wastes no time getting the first of four men upstairs. After their bathroom dalliance, he immediately falls in love with her.
I know it’s not Geoff Goldblum, but it is a dinosaur and it is the apex predator. And you are the apex predator of my heart”
MJ – Quote from The Donor Party
While her besties continuously stand behind her poking their finger into a hole made by their other fingers, I immediately become bored with the gag after the first time. So when Jaclyn readies herself for the next begetter of human embryos, Molly and Amandine champion her escapades. They scrutinize who she is not allowed to bang along with who she can by sending her text messages. The texts are loaded with appropriately placed eggplant and thirsty water emojis. Jaclyn mustn’t seem eager enough though because Amendine decides to spike her drink with ecstasy just in case. But like many drug tropes that end up in movies from writers who can’t be bothered writing a character that can simply make a poor decision, the drug ends up in the wrong person’s hands.
The Donor Party Movie Trailer
Is The Donor Party A Good Movie?
If you stick around to the end like I did just to find out if Jaclyn gets pregnant, she does. But if you want to know who ends up being the lucky fella, you’re barking up with the wrong turkey baster. Lucky for you, the right turkey baster full of sperm ends up on a cake. However, you will get to see Jerry O’Connells’, Tim dip his fingers into what he thinks is icing and lick it off his fingers. So there’s that. Filmmakers also manage to have a party guest’s water break onto his face too, so if you feel like you’re missing out, watch it on-demand from March 3, 2023.
” She’s a sperm burglar”
Jerry O’Connell – Quote from The Donor Party movie 2023
The Donor Party is rated
1.5 Making a wish doesn’t usually look like this out of 5
“Ultimately, THE DONOR PARTY is a story about not waiting for permission to live your life. By the end, Jaclyn learns to grab life by the balls-well, someone else’s balls. But she couldn’t have done it without the support of her friends. As someone raised by a divorced mom, the “aunts” I had growing up-both blood and my mom’s best friends-all raised me. I want THE DONOR PARTY to honor family, whether it’s the one we’re born into or the one we choose”
Thom Harp – Director Statement for The Donor Party
