The old saying, “There’s nothing to fear but fear itself,” would have been a great title for this. You’ll Never Find Me 2024, is just as good though. They both, however, cast a shadow of doubt over every inch of this slow-burn thriller with a bit of horror shoved into its ending.

The title is directed by the duo Josiah Allen and Indianna Bell with their first feature film. The fact that it feels every bit inspired by Robert Eggers, specifically The Lighthouse might ring true for some. Perhaps not narratively, but in its aesthetic.

A man, with a beard that would rival any fisherman sits alone in a room as a vicious storm bumps and bangs onto a caravan roof. His home is situated on the edge of a caravan park, frequented by hooligans who sometimes bang on his door at night. He turns to yell at whoever has come tonight only to faintly hear the sound of a woman asking for help. When she is eventually let inside, she is wet and shivering with bare feet dripping all over the floor. It’s only when they begin to speak to each other that the immediate notion that something isn’t quite right pokes its nose into the narrative.

Although I have to admit it, this storm is strange.”
Quote from You’ll Never Find Me 2024

You’ll Never Find Me 2024

Cinema folk who love a game of Guess Who is Guilty or Guess Who Might Be Unhinged can appreciate the dance between the two lead characters. I found myself thinking about titles like The Oak Room, Here Before, What Josiah Saw, and The Beach House, a lot of this dark and unnerving film You’ll Never Find Me brings its A-game early on as it teeters on the edge of escalation. Patrick questions the woman in what can only be described as suspicious pleasantries. Their quiet constrained voices turn the tension up a few notches. The woman is here just sheltering from the storm, caught unexpectedly in the cold torrential downpour.

You’ll Never Find Me delivers one red herring after another, peppering the storyline with doubt. Working in tiny snippets of a flashback-infused memory for each of the main cast that eventually begins to explain what’s happening here. In hindsight, the glaringly obvious clues are cleverly assigned to positions that serve to deconstruct their value. A bottle of whiskey, a glass, an earring, and a locket could be the central props for dozens of mystery murder movies and books. But side by side and said out loud they begin to add up.

Who’s Lying

Without spoiling the end of You’ll Never Find Me and the main crux of the twisted story, it would be safe to say, that I had hedged my bets at this point. Patrick is the obvious answer as someone to be afraid of. But then I noticed the run time was only halfway through. Holes begin to form in some of the things the woman says. As they both try and figure out who might be lying and why, things change.

Performances from Brendan Rock (as Patrick) and Jordan Cowan (as the woman) were convincingly palatable. Bouncing off each other with synchronicity that made me commence taking guesses at the two’s relationship. They form an easy rhythm that cleanses the movie with a sense of calm. But You’ll Never Find Me has endless tricks up its sleeve and swiftly balances its finale with a punch that doesn’t hold as much energy as the first three quarters.

Nevertheless, the film with a terrifying score and a constant raging storm background takes itself seriously. The You’ll Never Find Me film is clever, well thought out, and memorable.

You can watch it on Shudder from March 22nd, 2024, in Australia from March 7th (Umbrella Entertainment.) An Australian title and another win for horror after the recent success of Talk to Me, You’ll Never Find Me is recommended by Mother of Movies. The title was viewed as a screener.

You’ll Never Find Me is rated

3.5 “Bad behavior is a myth” out of 5

Mother of Movies score

“No one tells you that fear and excitement are identical emotions. That’s why people stick forks in toasters. That’s why they jump out of planes, snort cocaine, rob banks. They’re convincing themselves they’re about to die, just to feel awake. Our brains think joy and danger are the same thing. As a society, we are like moths to a flame.”
You’ll Never Find Me 2024, quote.