Valentine 2001 Delivers Love, Lust, and Lethal Cards

Valentine is a film that navigates the waters of horror and romance and establishes itself as a quintessential slasher flick with a Valentine’s Day twist. Featuring the essence of Denise Richards, known for her role in “Wild Things,” and David Boreanaz, who rose to fame through “Buffy the Vampire Slayer,” the movie offers an early glimpse into the capabilities of these actors before they reached the zenith of their careers. Alongside Boreanaz, a petite blonde, not unlike Buffy is Marley Shelton. She plays Kate who is trying to find her footing with her on-again-off-again alcoholic boyfriend Adam.

Jamie Blanks, who sits in the director’s chair slaps the tale of revenge together with as many horror movie tropes as he can carry. The storyline feels like it was written by three different people. And that’s good because it was. Donna and Wayne Powers (The Italian Job) sat with Tom Savage and created a landscape that follows a masked stalker’s fixation on five women.

A Valentine’s Day dance is transformed from a scene of anticipated romance into a tableau of horror. Somewhere along the lines of a G-rated Carrie, the women past’s are shown to include a night they all rejected Jeremy Melton. One of the girls more than the others, gave Jeremy a reason to hate them forever. And we know that he did, as crude scribbled-out yearbook pictures are carouselled across the screen.

When Hearts Turn Deadly

Years later the repercussions of their actions are spelled out with an especially apt choice of settings. First, a darkly written Valentine’s Day card arrives sticky taped to Shelley’s locker with the poem;

“The journey of love is an arduous trek. My love grows for you as you bleed from your neck.”

Poem from a Valentines Day card in the movie Valentine 2001

Valentine Horror Film

What better than a morgue to slice and dice your first revenge kill? Shelley is about to become a doctor. We know this because she says as much after a bad date with another apt choice of character, Jason Marquette. If you’re wondering why I’m suddenly using the last names of characters, I should point out, that the suspects in Valentine 2001 have the initials JM.

“I don’t think he’s capable of an intricate revenge plot.”

Quote from the movie Valentine

While the premise of receiving ominous Valentine’s Day cards is enough to pique one’s interest, the film’s narrative squanders this element as much as it does most of the film. Instead of delving deeper into the psyche of retribution and the monstrous lengths one can go to when fueled by the fires of vengeance, are dumbed down. Especially in superior moments as weak attempts to tie the mystery together for the finale come out of nowhere. Jamie Blanks, who has exhibited his expertise in the thriller-horror genre with works like “Long Weekend” (2008), “Storm Warning” (2007), and “Urban Legend,” brings a seasoned hand to “Valentine,” but forgets you need more than an excellent cast to be memorable.

For addicts of the slasher genre and those intrigued by the macabre side of Valentine’s Day, Valentine is not the type of movie you watch for a dose of sophisticated cinema. It’s the type of movie you watch when you need a hit of nostalgia. It’s a concoction of sloppy plot twists that make no sense instead of nail-biting suspense. It’s the B-movie dark side of love type of thrill that concludes with a ridiculous ending. The inclusion of familiar faces like Richards and Boreanaz, Capshaw, Cauffiel, Shelton, and Heigl serve as the props that hold this together.

Despite the Valentine movie’s flaws and low ratings on IMBd.com (4.9/10), Rotten Tomatoes (11%), and Metacritic (18%), those with a love for all things ’90s should add this to their watchlist. If not for the epic pairing of Boreanaz with another small blonde, then for the masked killer double cross action. Watch it on Prime Video via this link.

“Valentine” movie is rated

3.5 Good to see people can look good after rinsing their hair in the toilet out of 5

Roses are red, violets are blue. They’ll need dental records to identify you.”

Quote from the movie Valentine

Tis a well known fact beauty is skin deep. It’s a well known fact, you are what you eat.”

Movie quote from Valentine 2001

The Valentine Movie Ending

Why did Jeremy do it you ask? If the film wasn’t clear enough from the beginning, those who paid close attention to the beginning of the movie will have noticed Jeremy asked all five to dance. Kate was the only one who took a raincheck and politely declined. At the end of the film, he finally get the dance he was promised.

Dorothy was a Killer Too

Fortunately, Dorothy sets herself up as some kind of loose cannon with her own psychopathy who rushes in to kill Kate all on her own for labeling her as the fat girl. There are also the murders of Campbell, the maid, and Ruthie that hold no significance for someone like Adam.

That is, unless, her tongue was cut out, symbolised by a trickle of blood down the side of her mouth. That type of thing seems too violent for this type of movie.

Was Dorothy a killer too? Or was she an instrument in Adam covering his tracks? I didn’t see a bloody nose when Campbell or Ruthie were killed. Adam was seen downstairs drinking champagne when those murders were taking place.

Adam’s revenge mission is solid in other terms, however, after a decent group bashing followed by military school, juvie, and a stint in a mental institution. All good reasons to seek retribution.

But how do we know it was Jeremy Melton? Filmmakers made sure that every murder was shown to have been by someone who gets a nosebleed just like the young Jeremy shown in the flashbacks. Not only does he get revenge. He gets the girl too.

Who is the Killer in the Movie Valentine 2001?

Watch the video for the kill count! My favorite was when Lilly gets shot with an arrow that propels her backward, into the hall, onto the balcony, over the railing, and into a dumpster complete with the lid closing on top of her so she can’t be found.

Valentine Movie Crimes

1. Shelley: In your dreams loser.
2. Lilly: Ew.
3. Paige: I’d rather be boiled alive.
4. Kate: Maybe later.
5. Dorothy: Gets it on with him then calls him out for attacking her.