I’m a total amateur for Hellboy movies. Just my luck that my first Hellboy experience has been deemed the worst thing to ever happen to Hellboy movies. I’m sure I’ve seen bits and pieces of other films over the years, I mean I know who he is and what he looks like. But I thought this was another classic example of die-hard fans getting the wrong end of the stick. Surely a movie with David Harbour can’t be bad? And the rest of the Hellboy cast seems to point to a surefire win. Look at the Hellboy cast, the cast is amazing. David Harbour, Milla Jovovich, Ian McShane, Sasha Lane, Daniel Dae Kim, Thomas Haden Church, and other faces I spotted around the fantasy realm created here. Andrew Crosby did the words and Neil Marshall did the driving of the ship as director.
Sympathy for the Devil in the New Hellboy
Nothing seems to fit in this reboot for the new Hellboy. Well, David Harbour as Hellboy fits. I liked him. The previous actor to don the red paint was Ron Perlman. As a general rule, Ron Perlman is pretty awesome. I ran through a bunch of trailers and clips of previous Hellboy movies and he certainly had a certain something. Both his attitude and delivery for the Hellboy character are somehow missing a punch here. Harbour’s portrayal of Hellboy is still likable enough though.
The story is set in modern times, mashed up against the fantasy of it all. Fans of this niche were looking forward to getting a gripping story combined with an R-rating, although box office takings point to a less eager crowd. Mainstream cinema has been severely lacking in high-intensity films with more extreme rating classifications and as an avid horror moviegoer, I was one of the eager ones.
The trailer promised a lot, including witty banter and deadpan laughs, however, I think this is one of those times where every instance is included in said trailer. The film wasn’t as funny as I anticipated nor as compelling as I expected. For me, because no one was interesting enough to cross your fingers for. Had the end of the world indeed arrived, I would’ve shrugged my shoulders. Hellboy’s vision of world destruction come true? Oh well… pass the chips.
Long Hard Road Out of Hell
On top of this, all the nominal bad guys sought revenge. Milla Jovovich’s Blood Queen Nimue survives on the stuff. During a conversation with a hisiit, Gruagach, subsequently also out for revenge, she gets offered some lovely Jaffa cakes and forgoes them with the line;
“Revenge is the only sustenance I need.”
Hellboy movie quote
Okay well, great. That’s as good a reason as any I guess. However one would think that after reuniting one’s body after it’s been scattered over 6 corners of the earth at least a cup of tea might hit the spot. Speaking of Gruagach, Douglas Tait’s rendition of this large pig-like creature was my favorite character. He needed more screen time.
New Hellboy Movies
But then I saw the brigade as they headed out. What must those horses have been thinking? Those poor horses should’ve been at least granted anonymity from the shame and embarrassment of its entourage. A guy with a deer head hat and some green bandit-looking guys wearing boom boxes on their backpacks ride them through the forests. How embarrassing. Sure, they are hunting giants but they certainly aren’t very quiet about it. Perhaps they anticipated some aging giants, hard of hearing.
Once the giants arrived on screen, it was obvious they had perfect hearing. I was alerted to the fight scene by some very energetic score and I wasn’t disappointed in the ensuing scenes.
The CGI is fairly decent too but doesn’t hold a candle to better-branded films. It’s simply as good as anything gaming consoles can spit out and that’s what the whole thing reminded me of. Even World of Warcraft 2004 had about $53 million thrown at it and Hellboy cost $50 million to make.
If anything you could simply listen to the flick while ironing or something because the score is kick-ass. Any action comes with steady rock music which would also highlight minor scenes of importance. Great news for the lazy film lover. You can never have too much fever pitch score when the music is this good right?
Hell in a Bucket in the Hellboy Movie
I could run past all performances that seemed to be a bit ropey; to put it nicely, but my displeasure with Alice’s particularly frustrating character traits was almost too much. Despite her weird accent, her performance was fine but everything that went along with her motivations was just awful. I did like her ability to channel spirits though, that was pretty neat. Nothing like seeing a full-size specter sucked out of a dead body. Other mediums have got nothing on Alice’s technique.
Moving on to Major Ben Daimio. He seemed almost like a hologram, so unnoticeable. Daniel Day Kim is an actor you’d normally be thrilled to see, but it’s unclear what his real purpose was here. However, I did observe him using his mobile phone. Perhaps that was his role: to illustrate just how futuristic Hellboy is.
Never mind though, nothing rock music can’t fix, right?
Overall the new Hellboy movie felt like it just wanted to be cool. And it is cool, it’s just not a good film.
I give Hellboy
2 embarrassed steeds out of 5
The Cast of the New Movie Hellboy 2019
Hellboy 2019 cast has these top actors:
- David Harbour
- Milla Jovovich
- Ian McShane
- Sasha Lane
- Mark Stanley
Lionsgate released Hellboy through Millennium Films and, Summit Entertainment.
Hellboy (David Harbour) movies have always been a staple of the Hellboy universe. A reboot from Andrew Cosby & Mike Mignola & directed by Neil Marshall.
