Crocodile Vengeance 2022, Never Smile At A Crocodile
Uncork’d Entertainment released Paul W.F Franklin’s furiously fun creature feature “Crocodile Vengeance.” While it might not be wise to smile at a crocodile according to the age-old song, Crocodile Vengeance will entice a giggle or two. Known under the title Croc! in a few countries, the movie is widely available to stream for free and promises plenty of CGI, a wedding, and plenty of creative kills.
The film follows a woman called Lisa and her animal-loving dad getting ready for Lisa’s wedding. If you’ve never seen a creature feature set at a wedding, you’re in for a treat because this giant reptile crashes it big time. Lisa, her groom Dylan, and everyone in the bridal party have been invited along to stay at a remote-ish estate for the beautiful day. Little do they know a pair of Jurassic beasts are lurking on the property just waiting for anyone to come close enough to be eaten.
Crocodile Vengeance isn’t just a horror movie with handbag-suitable walking dinosaurs. It also makes a pretty good porn film from time to time. Nothing makes me happier than watching a scary movie and breaking the tension with a quick roll in proverbial hay. Or spa. All this title was missing was some bearded man to gently imply a mutton job (© Will Urbanivich) was on the cards. But alas, all the men in this movie were clean-shaven. Not only is Lisa’s dad some kind of irresistible love-making machine but he also wants to save the killer creatures by capturing them.
Crocodile Vengeance 2022
One of Lisa’s bridesmaids tells the other guests early on in the film that there is a rumor circulating amongst locals. A year ago two campers (coincidentally camping at a wedding venue for no good reason) disappeared. In a crudely timed time jump, “Crocodile Vengeance” skips forward 6 months to Lisa and Dylan’s wedding preparation. No good nuptials would be complete without a skeezy groom and this narrative doesn’t let the opportunity slide without a quick dalliance in the shed out back. Bad luck to Dylan and Lisa’s bestie Georgie because while they are playing hide the sausage, one of the Crocs decides it’s also time to eat.
If you’re looking for a horror movie with all the bells and whistles of other creature features like Crawl, Blackwater, or Rogue then Crocodile Veangence is not going to be it. The CGI-fueled gore fest takes a budget-acquired route into something that resembles a good Croc movie but isn’t one. I’ve never seen so many people die because they fell over in front of the antagonist in a film before. Between stumbling, tripping, and heels breaking off shoes, Crocodile Vengeance may just set a record somewhere for the most times characters fall over before being eaten by a reptile.
I will say this, Crocodile Vengeance is silly, plothole-filled, and cringe-worthy, but it was loads of fun.
Crocodile Vengeance (Croc!) is rated
3.5 Sacrificial priests out of 5
“It’s a nice day for a bite wedding.”
Quote from the crocodile movie, Crocodile Vengeance.
Where to Watch Crocodile Vengeance 2022
Don’t take my word for it, read the first reaction review from the titles’ Frightfest screening by BloodyFlicks.com.
Produced by Jagged Edge and distributed by Uncork’d Entertainment.
Crocodile Vengeance cast includes Mark Haldor, Sian Altman, and Chrissie Wunna.
“Crocodile Vengeance” was released 10th of April, 2022 on DVD and Digital. You could also watch this title for free on platforms like TubiTV and Prime Video.
